The Council of Raptors has pledged its support in the hypothetical, but clearly impending zombie apocalypse. A faction of raptors oppose the decision because zombies seem like they’d have a terrible aftertaste. Human opposition to this alliance argue that raptors who bite zombies may turn into zombie raptors. If zombie raptors become a thing, we may have to rely on our equally inevitable robot overlords to save us all.
The law firm Sampsoni, Cabazai & Dromaeosaur LLP and the Council of Raptors today announced intent to pursue a class-action discrimination lawsuit against Schlage, a well-known manufacturer of round doorknobs and other related products. When asked how the unfortunately shaped doorknobs had impacted its life, the Council representative screeched incomprehensibly.