News and Fun Facts from a world where Raptors and Humans Co-Exist

Call of Duty Raptors

Raptors are excellent at Call of Duty, though they prefer Black Ops 2 to Ghosts. If one is offering to join your clan, you should take them up on it.

0

A World Without the Philosoraptor

Actual velociraptors were about the size of a small turkey. The raptor used in Jurassic Park was closer to the Deinonychus (dye-NON-ik-us). That, however, is tougher for most to pronounce and if they had gone with it, we probably wouldn’t have the Philosoraptor. To be quite frank, that’s not a world I want to live in.

0

Evil Genius Raptor Prefers Chinchillas

Human evil geniuses have cats. Raptor evil geniuses have chinchillas.

0

Raptors v Schlage

The law firm Sampsoni, Cabazai & Dromaeosaur  LLP and the Council of Raptors today announced intent to pursue a class-action discrimination lawsuit against Schlage, a well-known manufacturer of round doorknobs and other related products. When asked how the unfortunately shaped doorknobs had impacted its life, the Council representative screeched incomprehensibly.

0

The Raptor and the Beagle

Raptors have an unnatural fear of beagles. If you’re in the vicinity of a raptor and the jazzy piano stylings of Vince Guaraldi begin to play, tread lightly.

0

Raptor in the White House

Political studies suggest that we will have a raptor in the White House within the next decade. Analysts are unsure if the raptor will be the president or eat the president.

0